Postgame handshakes: Good sportsmanship or hollow showmanship?

You see it on nearly every field in every sport, from youth to college. When the game is over, no matter what the outcome, the two teams meet near the middle of the field. Players and coaches hi-five or shake hands and say “Good game” to their opponents. If you’ve participated in this recently, as a coach or a player, do you think this is real? Parents observing from the stand, do you think this is a sincere act by the players? Or are most of the participants simply going through the expected motions?

This week, the Kentucky High School Athletic Association issued an unusual directive about postgame handshakes. It stated that “…postgame rituals such as handshakes, etc. must be closely monitored by school officials and are not a part of the game regulated by game officials.  However, any unsportsmanlike conduct occurring during this time will subject the coach/player to penalties and discipline.”

The KHSAA reported that there have been more than 24 fights and other altercations in Kentucky alone over the past three years, and many more across the country. They add that “Unfortunately, for whatever reason, all involved in contests seem to be more aggressive immediately after the contests are concluded and winning with honor and dignity (and losing the same way) doesn’t seem to be being instilled across the board.”

This directive has been selectively quoted and misinterpreted, even from news outlets such as CBSsports.com, as an outright ban on postgame handshakes, and that’s just not accurate. You can read the KHSAA statement on their website here…

When my son was a youth baseball player, he played for a team that played in one of the weekly tournaments for twelve-year olds held in one of the large complexes in Cooperstown, New York. They played “Team Arizona,” which was not a state-select team, just a cool name for about fifteen kids that lived within an hour of each other who were pretty talent ballplayers. After they beat my son’s team 4-3, they did three things which I remember clearly. They said “good game” to the players on my sons team with sincerity. Then they came to our side of the field, lined up on the foul line in front of our team’s parents and applauded us. Then they did the same to their parents.

A long time coach from the Houston area spoke to me regarding the “Good Game” lines. “I think they’re kinda stupid. After the game, you ofttimes have bad feelings, win or lose. Every postgame fight has started on the ‘Good game’ line. It’s fine to congratulate an opposing player if you wish, but lots of some of those guys didn’t set foot on the field. Sometimes they played dirty and said horrible things to you and your teammates before or during the game. The ‘Good game’ line is half-hearted, it’s fake, and it means nothing. And as a coach, I can tell you that is not fun breaking up a brawl.”

Rocky Ward, the head coach at New Mexico State, has led his team to more than 400 wins. He played for his father Gary, the Hall of Fame college baseball coach at Oklahoma State from 1986-88. From the time Gary began coaching at Oklahoma State in 1978, he believed that forcing players to shake hands after a game had nothing to do with sportsmanship.

“What he believed that sportsmanship was,” said Rocky, “was to shake hands prior to the contest, play hard during the contest to defeat each other, and not force the loser to cow down to the winner. “

It was nearly universal back then for opposing teams to shake hands after every game. He encouraged the players to do so before the series began, and he as a leader, as a professional would always seek out and shake his counterpart’s hand after each game. However, the players on Gary’s teams never shook hands with their opponents after any game (with the exception of the 1987 College World Series championship, when the officials at the event “strongly suggested” that he do so, as he was on their national stage).

Now college baseball teams almost never shake hands with their opponents after each game. They only do so at the conclusion of the last game of a series.

Gregg Brock, the President of the Malibu Little League in California, feels that the KHSAA directive came about “in response to the climate that’s begun to exist in youth sports in general.” In regards to young athletes, Brock stated “The role models that they look to, which are their coaches, who establish anything they’ll try to emulate, that type of response… yelling at umpires, parents yelling at umpires, parents coaching from the stands, coaches yelling at players… there’s no reason for any of those kids to try to understand why they should deal with those emotions rather than let them out. I think it’s killing youth sports.”

Brock feels “this is not about emulating the pros. This is about developing the youth of America to play sports in a sportsmanlike manner. What happens to that kid who gets into a fight with a handshake? What happens to him when he goes into business and someone doesn’t give him his way?””

In the Coaches Clinic that I give to leagues like yours, among many things I discuss several options for post game interaction. I’ll inform and entertain and educate your league. You can arrange for me to conduct a coaches clinic here.

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